Episode 15: No Time Like the Present

Hello and Welcome to the Love your life podcast - this is episode 15- No time like the present. Welcome back, I love that you are here with me today in this space where we talk about thriving in the lives we create instead of merely surviving our circumstances. Today, we’re diving into the benefits of living in the present. Let’s start with a story you most likely know: A story that uses the concepts of past, present, and future. It is the iconic story of Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Scrooge is a perfect example of someone disconnected from the present. He’s consumed by regret from his past and fear of his future. His life is dominated by greed and loneliness, and he misses every single chance possible to connect with the people and life around him. He is the epitome of letting his lizard brain trap him in a cold dark cave stashed away from actually living, and he does a great job trying to drag everyone else around him into their own caves or at least to follow the rules of his cold and dark cave when they are around him. But then, he has a life-altering experience, with the Ghosts from Christmas past, present and future. All three ghosts have important messages, but today we will focus on The Ghost of Christmas Present that shows him the beauty and joy available in the here and now. Of course it doesn’t hurt that he got a little bit of fear put into him by Christmas future, but When Scrooge finally wakes up on Christmas morning, he realizes that all he has is the present and there is no time to waste. He is eager to get out and live in a better way than he ever had before. He course corrects from greed to generosity. He stops isolating himself and begins to connect to people in his life. He starts serving others, and I always love how it helps him SEE the people and things in his life in a different way. Like how in the world had he not seen how cute Tiny Tim was before that - for realz. Basically, He starts to live more fully in the moment. Now , Obviously, most of us are not the exaggerated version that Scrooge is in the way we approach our daily life, but this story has had the staying power it has because it hits on universal human behaviors. Every single one of us is faced with the challenge of balancing our present moments with our focus on past and future - We have to figure out how we can show up in all of our todays in a way that connects us to the people we love. We have to balance letting go of regret and pain from the past, which requires repentance and forgiveness on a continual basis, and we have to break free of the fear based stories that our brains tell us about our futures. These predictions of all manner of bad things in the future control us in our present. We also have to not let ourselves be completely driven by what we want to create in the future - whether that be bank accounts, pretty houses, perfect resumes, or just the appearance of fitting in with everyone around us, and let these pursuits take us out of noticing what matters most in our day to day lives - which in my book are the relationships we foster with the people around us, with ourselves, and with God or the divine. We only ever have today to create this balance- and this balance is what will help us feel peace and love for our life. So Today let's talk about _______ things we can do to help ourselves create this balance in our everyday life. I’ll start with our body. So many of us lose connection with our physical body when we eject from our present focus. Coming back into a balanced relationship with our body is key for several reasons. First off -If we are neglecting to take care of our health because we are hustling for tomorrow - we have to acknowledge that we might have less tomorrows we get to choose what to do with. Because illness robs us of choice. We have to see that there will never be any time but the present to take care of ourselves. Every single investment we put into our health has exponential benefits for our future. If we are neglecting our physical bodies because we are depressed from past focus - we have to wake up and see that this only creates more of what we don’t want today and that one of the biggest keys to free us from depression is movement and care of our physical bodies. - So what is your plan for taking care of your health? -- there are so many ways to choose from - just make sure you are choosing something and not accidentally falling into inactivity. Drink your water, move your body, sleep at night, brush your teeth, all the things! Having a healthier body gives us a better chance to strengthen our mind/body connection- which benefits the present immensely. I have talked to you about feelings here in podcast land before - The vibrations of emotions in our body that are created by our thoughts is one of the beautiful systems set up to connect our bodies with our minds - If we stay connected to our physical bodies and we Learn to pay attention to our feelings, we will move through the negative feelings in a much cleaner way, and invite more positive feelings in as the fuel for our present actions. Go back and listen to podcasts 6 and 7 for a feeling your feeling refresher because the better you get at feeling your feelings - the better you will get at living in the present. Another way to strengthen your mind-body connection is stillness- Time outs are not just for children. Do you have planned stillness in your days? This can be your spiritual time, your meditative time, your writing and reflecting time, or your checking over your body and mind time- Whatever you want to do - choose it on purpose. Make a plan today for how you want to fit this in. WE call ourselves human beings - but we tend to be human doers - If we want to be more connected to our bodies - we are going to have to get better at being - and that requires stillness. I find that I can be still in all kinds of random ways.- When I go for walks my body is moving - but I frequently use this as a time to quiet my mind. I turn off the music or the podcast - and I do a senses check in. What do I see? I describe the colors and shapes and textures I see around me. What do I hear? I practice listening for the closest sound I can hear and identify it - and then I practice listening to the furthest sound away I can hear and identify. What do I feel? The sunshine on my skin, the wind in my face, the texture of my clothing, the ground beneath my feet. What do I smell? Flowers are my favorite when I’m outside, but sometimes its wet leaves, or car exhaust, or humid air before a rainstorm - and I end with What I can touch? I bend over and feel a blade of grass, or a piece of cold ice, or a crunchy leaf, or the asphalt below my foot. Checking in with each of my senses is an awesome way to still my mind and bring me back into my body. Once I’ve reconnected everything back together - I like to pray as I walk and then stay as open as possible to the thoughts that cross my mind from there. Stillness also looks like looking at the leaves in a tree from my hammock, writing in my journal, praying, meditating, breathing exercises, and stretching. Whatever quiets your mind and helps you just gets to count as stillness for you. I’d love to hear in the comments what your go to is. AS you create the practice of health in your body and mind - you will have a better shot at slowing things down when you are with people and trying to soak them in. Of course this will require putting down screens, phones, and books. And choosing to prioritize people. I am not always the best at it, but here are some of my favorite ways that work for me when I do manage to stay present focused. I love to look at the people I love and try to memorize them in that moment - or take a mental snapshot. My kids get annoyed and sometimes tell me to stop being creepy - but that's a them problem! I like to hone in on details like what their eyes look like in a specific light - how their smile lights up their face - what their habitual fidgets are - like the tapping of their leg, the drumming on the table or the way they hold their fork. I take a minute and try to record the sound of their voice on my heart. Of feel how their hand fills up mind as we walk across the parking lot. It really does slow time down for me and the normal mundane things end up having the power to take my breath away. It is such a beautiful way to stay present and add satisfaction to your life. The other day I was looking at my husband's face and noticed a new wrinkle around his eye. It comes out when he smiles. His sparkly blue eyes have been a magnet for my attention from the first day I met him, but this specific time I felt my heart speed up and time slow down at the same time. Because That wrinkle is mine. He smiles every time we make eye contact. I don’t always sink into it - but when I make the effort to see what is in front of me - there is literally love that comes out of every crease in my life. You will have opportunities to take these mental snap shots consistently each day - and when you do you will hopefully land in the same pool I do which is Gratitude. There are few things that help us stay present as much as the feeling of gratitude. We talked about that in episode 9 when I taught about what chemicals are released in our brains from this feeling. It is a wonderful concoction to medicate ourselves with daily. Feeling grateful for what we have in the mundane moments of our lives because we have learned to be present pays off massively when the big mountain top moments roll in. If you get good at feeling grateful for the smudge marks on the sliding glass door from little fingers, or the smile of your person at the end of a long day, or the smell of a clean bathroom that your teenager cleaned by them self, then you can expect to feel blown away with joy when bigger things happen. But it will be a quiet joy. Because being present is almost always an inside job. Another one of my favorite practices that keeps me focused on my present is service. When I am taking care of others - I am living in the present. All the other things drop off of my radar - sure there might be dinner to make, steps to get in, or a podcast to record when I’m done, but when I’m serving someone else those things drop off for the moment. There are so many ways that we can grow our ability to stay present in our lives. We will talk more next week about how to leverage our daily actions for our future benefit, and that is always at play, but learning how to do the daily things in a way that is grounded, connected, and purposeful without shifting to auto pilot and without wishing it away is a skill that not only benefits us but also has the power to stick the people we love to us like glue. Because if you haven’t noticed yet, everyone you know wants to be seen and heard more than almost anything else. The more we stay present the better we get at seeing and hearing - and the more our people will want to be near us because being seen and heard - and loved exactly as we are is the safest feeling in the world. All worries float away and time stands still. And that my friends is an easy recipe for loving your life more today than you did yesterday. SO Just like Ebenezer Scrooge, we all have the opportunity to wake up and embrace the gift of the present moment. By connecting to our body, feeling our feelings, being still, taking mental snapshots of our people and life, practicing gratitude, and giving service, we will grow our ability to stay present in our lives. The more we stay present, the less we will be plagued by regret about our past and anxiety about our future, but most importantly the more we will love the life we are living and the people we are living it with. There is literally no time like the present Thank you for spending your precious present moments with me today. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might need a reminder to be still and refocus. And don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Talk to you soon!