Episode 4: Don't Believe Every Thought You Think

We covered some good ground on thoughts in the last episode, but I am not ready to move forward to a different space until I give you a little more information about thoughts and where they come from and how we interface with them. Today we are going to talk about separating thoughts that are not the most emotionally mature or in your best interest from thoughts that are more mature and in alignment with your greater desires and belief systems. Let’s take a minute and learn a little about the brain. There was a school of thought in the 1960’s led by a neuroscientist named Paul Mclean that divided the brain into three categories and gave it names according to evolution. I borrow the name reptilian brain from that school of thought. - it is composed of the brainstem, which includes the cerebellum. Scientists are always learning and adding more information to our knowledge bank, but I want to keep it simple here and for my purposes we can think of the reptilian brain as the area of our brain that stays focused on self preservation and preservation of family, gives desires for basic physical needs, and helps us with fight, flight, freeze, and fawn when we are in danger. As the brain stem area is the oldest part of our brain I often also refer to it as my inner caveman, It is a professional scanner for danger and it wants to keep us and those we love safe. In the old days, it did so by noticing the danger in time to send us to our caves where we would stay out of danger and live to eventually reproduce and keep the species going another day. The second level of the brain is the limbic system - it is located deep within the brain and above the brainstem - It is small in size but does the big job of regulating emotions, behaviors, motivation, and memories. The third and top level of the brain is the cerebral cortex and I’ll be referring to the front part of the cortex in the frontal lobe that we call prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex helps to regulate emotions, controls impulses, and it plans for the future.. It is involved in our ability to pay attention, predicts consequences of behavior and helps people consider many streams of information at once. I frequently label the Prefrontal Cortex my thinking brain, and think of it as the best version of myself. When my thoughts are organized, mature, forward thinking, able to forgo pleasure in the moment for something better in the future, it is most likely coming from my prefrontal cortex. Whereas when I am reactive, impulsive, and immature, and or impatient - I will most likely be thinking with my reptilian or lower brain. As you start to become aware of your thoughts and consider where they might be originating in your brain you will become more familiar with their tone, patterns, and opinions. The Lizard that speaks from the lowest level is a lot like a tyrant toddler. It wants what it wants, it doesn’t really care what the consequences are, it is negative, likes to call names, and is quick to escalate emotions. I have found that the words of my small children best give voice and understanding of the reptilian brain. One of my favorite quotes from my littles was when I would say something like stop being mean to your sister. They would always say, but I wasn’t trying to be mean. I would always respond, you don’t have to try to be mean. You have to try NOT to be mean. And so it is with lizard land thinking - you don’t have to try to be worried, scared, nervous, angry, anxious, or trapped, you have to TRY NOT to! You have to learn how to shift your thinking to your prefrontal cortex upstairs! It is a valuable exercise to see this voice in your head as a less evolved and less mature version of yourself, even as someone other than yourself. One way to start seeing the lizard brain and the thoughts it shouts at you as separate from self is to give it a name. I call mine my little sweetie because I have found that being mad and arguing with what it says doesn’t really get me anywhere, but when I think of it like a funny little toddler I am nicer and talk in a more soothing way to it. I have had clients name their lower brain some pretty fun and unique names. One of my favorites was the one named after her coworker that was always complaining and stirring up problems in the workplace. When she caught herself thinking in a similar way she called it by the coworker's name and disempowered those thoughts. ANother favorite is the client who calls hers Crood - from the movie the croods - she notices that hers sounds alot like the dad who is always trying to keep people safe. Have fun with naming your lizard brain. Name it something that is easy to remember, feels funny or friendly, and has the power to separate it from you. Calling it by a name also gives us the awareness to remember that we don’t have to believe everything it has to tell us. When I remember that these thoughts don’t represent myself the best, I catch on quicker to being curious, doubtful, and even critical of them instead of just following orders without questioning them. Calling out where my thoughts come from by name is also a way for me to remember who exactly I am talking to. That old brain wants to protect me from anything dangerous or uncomfortable at all costs. It would prefer that I go hide in a cave and stay safe, but it doesn’t care that the cave is dark, lonely, cold, and uncomfortable too. So when I remember where the thought originates, I can remember what it’s intended result will be, and I can shift my thinking up to my prefrontal cortex to process up there and consider what it is that I want in the long term. If you have ever felt the feeling of being stuck, trapped, or not progressing, you can know it is coming from lizard land and your brain is trying to keep you safe in a cave. It will be up to you to shift your thinking upward to decide if you want to stay in the cave or face the elements outside that might be difficult, but can be gotten through to do the things you want to do in this world. The practices of Mindfulness and meditation are wonderful roads into becoming aware of what you are thinking. It is the practice of becoming a watcher of the mind. There are so many teachers out there that have much expertise to share. There are even apps to be purchased to put on your phone that will lead you in meditation. All of it leads to slowing down the mind and letting go of attachment to what the thoughts are telling us. I had my first touch with mindfulness in Yoga 18 years ago. I swear that my favorite Yoga instructor was my first life coach. Thank you, Lisa. I will love you forever! Her invitation to be present at the end of each class and to lead us into noticing what our thoughts had to tell us were some of my first touches with being still and watching my mind. I have been continually learning and growing in this area ever since. Last episode I taught about a thought download - I am going to keep reminding you of it because it is the most beneficial thing you can do to isolate your thoughts. When you see them in black and white you can start to categorize them based on how you know the reptilian brain vs. your thinking brain communicate. If the thought is coming from your reptilian brain, you need to immediately get curious and will want to doubt what it is telling you. Doubting the thoughts will be like pushing the pause button. It will give you a space between the thought and the reaction and this space is where you climb up the stairs through your brain to get to the top floor and use better reasoning skills to decide what you want to think and eventually what you want to do about the thought. It does require effort to shift the balance of more thinking upstairs than downstairs - but it feels so much better to be living in the sunshine upstairs, than the cave downstairs. Thank you for spending your time with me today. I hope you have found something new to spark some curiosity and get you inspired to increase your practice of noticing your thoughts. Since thoughts have the power to create results in our lives, we want to be careful and more intentional with deciding which thoughts we choose to keep thinking. I have chosen to think about you as I have compiled my thoughts for the podcast today. If it has been something that adds value to your life, I invite you to follow, like, and share. This will help me fulfill my mission to help as many people as possible have the tools to be more intentional and have more control in their lives. If you have ever felt trapped in your life’s circumstances, you know what I mean when I say it is dark and lonely in the cave our lizard brain sends us to. Use this podcast to help break some fellow lizards out of the dark! Talk to you soon!